The End? Or the Beginning?

People talk about the creation of the world or the universe all the time. Whether it was a Big Bang or the hand of some creator, it’s usually talked about as some moment in the very distant past. A moment and then creation was complete.

People also like to talk about the “end”. Armageddon. The Apocalypse. The sun consuming the planet. Extinction. All of these conversations are about a time in the future.

Funny how death brushing close can make you understand the absurdity of believing that there’s one beginning and one end. Birth and death. Creation and destruction. One of each in any given scenario. Wrong.

The moment I saw the police on my lawn and my husbands car in the driveway, my life ended. The life I had known, the person I had been blew away like ash in the wind. A bomb was dropped into the middle of my existence and burned everything away. I knew he was dead before they told me. Why else would they be there? He wasn’t violent. No one disliked him but himself. He was gone. The end.

I spent months after that day suspended in a sort of purgatory. I wasn’t alive but I wasn’t dead, either. Maybe it was a cocoon. Maybe it was a womb. Whatever it was, I neither existed or didn’t exist. I remember nearly nothing of that time. I just remember darkness and numbness and, occasionally, pain. So much pain.

At some point, the light started creeping in. I started feeling things. I started noticing life again. I started to remember things. I started to move my body and stretch my mind, testing how they worked now. Nothing felt like it had before the end. I was, different now. The world was different now. The Beginning.

You see, there are beginnings and endings happening all the time. Some huge, some small. To not acknowledge all of them is to not recognize the truth of life. Everything ends. Nothing is permanent. New beginnings come from the end of things.

Appreciate what you have while it’s here. It will be gone someday. That’s a certainty. Grieve when things that you once loved end but realize that in every end there is a beginning. All hard times will pass. All good times will pass, too.

Today it’s the end. Tomorrow, the beginning. Then the end again. You can focus on the end if you want….Or you can look for the beginning.

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